UPDATE (October 31, 2021):
My father’s second cousin, John Nicolazzi, went missing in 1989. My dad never knew him.
The link between my dad and his second cousin was through my father’s grandmother, who was abandoned on a porch in Italy and later adopted. Through DNA, I discovered who her biological family was. John Nicolazzi shared no provable links to the family, as his parents were actually not even from the line they thought they were from (due to an immense amount of adoptions and illegitimate children born to unknown fathers in the line). So, I had to trace back the family for many generations to learn about my father’s great grandmother.
Anyway, I eventually had two women who showed up as DNA matches to me who, unbeknownst to me at the time, were adopted. I offered to help them search for their parents. They did not know their parents’ names. After a day or two, I realized their father was a man named John Nicolazzi. John only had one brother, who had already been deceased. Both of my adopted cousins had different mothers. I found one mother within a few days or so (she had already been deceased for years), and I reunited my cousin with her biological siblings and living grandmother from her mother’s side. As for my other cousin’s mother, she was missing, but I found her as well eventually.
As for the missing link, John Nicolazzi, I knew that there were only a few people he could have been around his age on paper trails. I had it narrowed down to two men. The one man wanted it to be him, surprisingly, but it was not. And so I figured that left me with one other person, a John Nicolazzi from Syracuse, New York.
John’s family all insisted that he went missing in the 1980s, and they believed he had passed away, as he was homeless and living in his car. (There is more to this story in the article below this update.)
Anyway, I was able to reach a woman named Hattie, who showed up on a paper trail as someone with whom John had been associated. She was shocked that I called. She was praising God and saying how excited and happy she was to learn that his family was calling him, that he had someone to claim him.
Hattie explained that John talked about his daughters frequently and that he had tried to find them countless times. This entire time he was searching for not only his daughters but also his ex wife, his father, and his sister.
Why was he “missing”, then? How did he become a “missing person”? This is where it gets tricky.
John had not seen his children since the 1980s, when they were babies. The courts banned him from seeing his children. They were put up for adoption against his will.
Back in 1989, John J. Nicolazzi was homeless, jobless, living in his car in Brooklyn, NYC, NY, and was suffering from both drug abuse and mental illness. The entire family assumed he had died that year or maybe a couple years after, as they had stated there was just no way that he could have survived this long, with the odds stacked against him. And he totally went off the radar, not intentionally, according to Hattie. He was getting his life in order.
John had moved from NYC to Syracuse and turned his life around, according to Hattie. He became a homeless person advocate and made that his “purpose”. He was not wealthy, but he purchased a few empty homes nearby his home and allowed homeless people to live there indefinitely. He did not charge them a dime either. He helped Hattie, who was his best friend, by letting her live in one of his vacant homes, for the remainder of her life. She still resides in that home. She claims he saved her from a life of homelessness. They did not live together, but he lived further down the street. He had gotten sick in his last year of life with diabetes and allegedly was not taking his medicine, as the doctor wanted to amputate his foot, and, according to Hattie, he did not want to live that way. Hattie and John promised each other to take care of each other until the day one of them died. She said that John never sought or expected anything from anyone and that he helped anyone he could without discrimination, out of the kindness of his heart. Hattie states that he was “the best person she ever knew” and that she misses him terribly.
John’s high school yearbook photo points out that he loved helping people…. he apparently had that trait since his youth. It also states that he can be seen looking at the girls… Hattie confirmed that he carried that trait through the years as well.
John J. Nicolazzi passed away in 2016. Hattie stated that she made sure that he had a proper burial and that “he was buried good”.
John’s father, who passed years prior, asked for John before he passed away and was upset that his son could not be found. He was “missing” from him, too. John did not have a good relationship with his father, and he had allegedly suffered abuse. John’s cousins and sister / niece were the last family members to see him. He had come to their house around 1989 looking for a place to stay while he was homeless with two large dogs. The living arrangement did not work due to his dogs, and he refused to leave his dogs behind. So, he went to sleep in his car. That was the last time the family ever heard from him. They assumed he had passed that year, as aforementioned.
John later tried to contact his sister, according to Hattie. He had just gotten things situated in Syracuse after living out many hardships alone on the streets. And you have to remember, back then, the only popular “cell phones” were the ones that plugged into cars. Without being coherent and abusing drugs, it’s hard to say what was going on in his mind. But once he straightened out his life, he tried to find his sister and cousin. Sadly, he could not locate either of them. His sister had started developing dementia. She is still alive in her nineties and vaguely remembers John, whom she called “John John”.
John lived devastated for so many years that he could not find his family, especially his children. His children’s names were changed after birth, and they both had closed (sealed) adoptions. Adoption records did not open up in New York until after he had passed away. Sadly, the timing did not work out.
John passed away of hypothermia in his home. He had lived alone.
It is nice to have closure to a case like this. It did weigh on my mind, even though I did not ever know him. To emphasize, you get to know them in certain ways. I hope that wherever he is now that he is looking down feeling some sort of closure– but at the very least he knows people care.
This is why I do what I do. I don’t want anyone’s legacy to be that they just died without a name or a story or family caring for them. To me, it’s one of the saddest things in the world. I did locate John’s ex-girlfriend’s family, whom I discovered through a DNA test… and my cousin did get her adoption papers after I learned about John.
The original article is below:
John Joseph Nicolazzi went missing at some point in the late 1980s or the 1990s. The exact year he went missing is unknown. John was born sometime around 1946 in Hackensack, NJ or NYC, New York. He was possibly mentally unwell and homeless (living out of his car in Brooklyn, NYC) when he vanished. He stopped visiting his daughter, who was a baby at the time, in 1989. His baby went to live with his cousin, Nettie, briefly until she was adopted by another family. Nettie supposedly never heard from John again. One of his relatives stated that he may have heard from John in 1990s, but the memory was vague and uncertain. As for a paper trail, I have not been able to find any information on John after 1989.
Here is a timeline of events in John’s life, for anyone who is actively helping search for him, or for anyone who thinks they may have encountered him:
1946: John was born in Hackensack, NJ or NYC, NY to Amedio (“John”) Nicolazzi and Domenica (Cenci) Nicolazzi. John was rumored to have lived a very hard life as a child and endured abuse by his father. He lived with his parents until about 1969.
1964 / 1965: John finished school at Bergen County Technical Vocational School. (I am going to be circulating this article to his alumni groups.)
1969: He married Elsa Banola on October 5, 1969. A large fight broke out at the wedding, which may have led to him resenting some family members. At the time of his marriage, he was working at Sandy’s and was in the National Guard. I am not certain what day he joined the National Guard.
1975: John may have been living at 729 Maywood Ave in Maywood, NJ. I found that information in this news article. I checked online records parcels for Bergen County, and John has several parcel records for the mid-1970’s.
1976: On October 27, 1976, John was summoned in a civil action in the Superior Court of NJ. Here is a news article stating that Elsa was filing for divorce and/or possibly suing for property ownership.
1980: John had a girlfriend named Linda Rosemond. Linda was African American, and, according to several of his family members, there was racist judgement being placed upon John. He may have become bitter due to this factor, but that is just speculation. John and Linda were rumored to have been living together in Brooklyn, New York City, NY. John had a child with Linda in 1980 who was born in Brooklyn. It is unclear whether or not John was able to visit the baby in the beginning. This baby ended up being adopted (while she was a baby). It is suspected that John lost contact with Linda soon after their daughter was born. (The search for John was instigated by a DNA test that his daughter took; she had never known her father or even what his name is. I helped her find out who her father is by using DNA. (I’m a genealogist.) I am her blood cousin, and my father is John’s second cousin by blood. My father does not know John, because the DNA link is through my grandmother’s mother, who was an abandoned baby.)
1981: John’s mother, Domenica (Cenci) Nicolazzi passed away in 1981. John supposedly ceased contact with his father around this time.
1987: John had been living with another woman (his girlfriend) in Bronx, NYC, NY at this time. John’s girlfriend’s name was rumored to be Sarah Walker, who was born around 1965. “Sarah” had a baby with John. (A DNA test also confirmed this to be true, as I had another DNA match recently who I helped find her biological father. Once I had her upload her DNA to another ancestry site, it was clear she was a half-sister match to John’s previous daughter born in 1980.) These sisters share the same father but have different mothers. Sarah’s daughter was adopted as a baby as well. (John’s relatives state that they remember this baby being born, and that he would visit her every weekend. He apparently would cry at visits. It is said that the baby went to live with John’s cousin, Nettie (now deceased). The baby was then placed into foster care and was adopted shortly after. Sarah did not contact the agency that fostered their baby for visitation inquiries; her last contact was 1987. Supposedly, this child had two brothers, but it’s unclear if they were Sarah’s or John’s biological children. An adoption record stated that the brothers went to live with their paternal grandparents. I found out from a family member that that may have been a misprint in the state document. I am inclined to believe these brothers are children of Sarah, and that John is not their father.
1989: John was working at a welfare hotel sometime during this year. John went to his sister’s house to visit and was offered food, shelter, and clothing, but only under the condition that he was not allowed to bring his two large dogs, which were German Shepherds, as his sister already had a large dog there (a Doberman). John did not agree to this condition, so he did not stay. He did not want to abandon his dogs. It is uncertain what happened to his two dogs after that. John was rumored to have went to live in his car in the parking lot of a homeless shelter. He was said to be paranoid.
John was rumored to have been arrested in 1989.
2002: John’s father passed away, having not heard from John or having no idea of his whereabouts for many years.
2014: Elsa, John’s ex-wife, passed away.
John had dark brown hair. His eye color is unknown, but they appear to be brown in his high school photo. That is the only photo I could find of him. His family could not locate any other photos of him. His height and weight are unknown.
If you have any information on John’s whereabouts, please contact below, or you can call your local authorities and reference this post so they know who you are referring to. John is not filed as a missing person. He is known as an “unreported missing person.” I have already tried numerous times to report him missing.
1969 marriage, 2 daughters, has 2 dogs,2 large dogs, 2 sons, two dogs, missing with dogs, 729 Maywood Ave, 729 Maywood Avenue, abandoned his family, abandoned home, abuse, adopted in 1989, adopted in 1990, adopted in 1991, adopted in 1992, adopted in NYC, adoption, African American girlfriend, amedio, ancestry DNA, arrested, baby nicolazzi, nicolasi, John Joseph nicolasi, John nicolasi, bergen county missing man, Bergen County Technical School, bergen county technical vocational school, Bergen County Vocational school, Bergen County Voci, Bergen County missing person, Bergen County nj missing man, NJ missing man, missing from NJ, missing in nj, born 1984, born in 1946, born in 1947, born in 1948, born in 1984, born in 1986, born in hackensack, Bronx, brooklyn, brother, brown eyes, brown hair, cenci, cousin nettie, daughters put up for adoption, did not file a missing person report, did not file a missing person’s report, divorced in 1976, DNA test, doberman, domenica, elsa banola, Elsa Banola Nicolazzi, estranged from family, family estrangement, father was john nicolazzi, foster care, full blooded italian american, fully italian, german shepherd, missing Italian American NJ, missing Italian American NY, grandfather amedio, grandfather amedio nicolazzi, grandmother domenica, grew up in bergen county, grew up in hackensack, hackensack, had 2 german shepherds, have not seen him since 1989, haven’t seen him in years, haven’t seen him since 1989, he was never reported missing, homeless and mentally ill, homeless and missing, italian, italian american, john j nicolasi, john j nicolazzi,john joseph nicolazi, john joseph nicolazzi, john nicolasi, john nicolazzi, john Nicolazzi national guard, Jr, linda rosemond, lived in maywood, living in car, living transient lifestyle, looking for my brother, looking for my brother who was adopted as a baby, looking for my brother who was adopted as a child, looking for my father, looking for my mother, looking for my sister, Married elsa, married elsa banola, maywood, mental illness, mentally ill, Mentally ill and missing, missing and bipolar, missing and homeless, missing from nyc, missing homeless man, missing nomad, missing since 1989, missing since 1991, missing since 1992, missing since 1993, missing since 1994, missing since 1995, missing since 1996, missing since 1997, missing since 1998, missing since 1999, missing since 2000, missing since 2001, missing since 2004, missing since 2005, missing since about 1989, missing since the late 1980s, missing transient, missing with a mental illness, mother was linda rosemond, mugshots, national guard, Nettie, never filed a missing person report, never filed a missing person’s report, never reported missing, new jersey, new york, New York City, nicolazzi, nicolazzi arrested, nj, no missing person’s report was made, no one ever heard from him again, nomad, nomadic, nomadic missing person, NYC adoption, ran away, sara walker, sarah walker, son lived with parent, transient, transient missing person, two big dogs, two daughters , two dogs , two german shepherds , two large dogs, two sons, unreported, unreported missing person, vanished in 1989, vanished in 1990, vanished in 1996, vanished in 1997, presumed deceased, John doe, likely a John doe, presumed deceased since 1989, unreported missing person, was never reported missing, no missing person’s report on him, no missing person report on him, he has no missing person’s report filed, no one filed a missing person’s report on him, not in NamUs, isn’t in NamUs, not found in namus, no detective assigned to his case, underground missing person, underground Mysteries, underrepresented missing person’s case, missing man in his 70s, missing transient man, missing homeless man 1990, missing man 1991, missing since 1991, missing since 1992, missing since 1993, missing since 1994, missing since 1995, missing since 1996, missing since 1997, missing since 1998, missing since 1999, missing since 2000, missing since 2001, missing since about 1990, missing since about 1995, missing since about 2000, missing Brooklyn homeless man, missing Bronx homeless man, missing from north jersey, missing from NYC, NYC missing man, missing man with two large dogs, missing homeless man with two dogs, missing since 1996, missing since 1997, missing since 1998, missing since 1999, missing since 2001, missing since 2002, missing since 2003, missing since 2004, missing since 2005, missing since 2006, missing since 2007, findjohnnicolazzi, findjohnjosephnicolazzi, have you seen me? #HaveYouSeenMe, missing elderly man, elderly missing in NYC, missing elderly man new York, missing elderly man NJ, veteran, missing veteran, missing drifter, namus alternative, underground missing people cases, unknown missing person cases, missing Italian man in NYC, tan, tan skin, bushy eyebrows, dark hair, black hair, Bergen county missing man, Bergen county, NJ, missing person in Bergen county, Bergen county missing man, #missingperson, please help find my uncle who went missing, please help find my brother who went missing, please help find my missing brother, please help find my brother who went missing, trying to locate my brother who went missing in the 90s, missing since sometime in the 90s, missing since the 90’s, missing since the 1990’s , john joseph nicolazzi , john J nicolazzi , John J. Nicolazzi , Missingperson, missing , missing caucasian italian american man , Missing in NY , Lost in NY , homeless vet , homeless missing vet , homeless missing veteran , missing veteran , homeless veteran , mentally ill disabled missing homeless veteran , had mental illness , mentally unwell , mental illness , psychiatric condition , psychiatric problem , lived in his car , lived in his vehicle , sara walker adoption , sarah walker adoption , jon nicolasi adopted daughters , jon nicolassi , john nicolasi , nick nicolasi , nicholas nicolasi , nick nicolassi , john nick nicolasi , john nicolassi , sari walker adoption , samantha walker adoption , walker nicolassi , linda rosemond adoption , missing hackensack man , missing hackensack nj man , missing from hackensack nj , bergen county caucasian man missing , homeless in north jersey missing , missing homeless man in north jersey , homeless and missing in bergen county
